Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Review of fox news archives::How Do i archive a video clip from 10/24/2009







Review of fox news archives::How Do i archive a video clip from 10/24/2009








Some               people               collect               ceramic               frogs               or               Stevie               Wonder               albums.

Me,               I               collect               Sarah               Palin               jokes.

Feel               free               to               smile               or               even               laugh               (unless               you're               at               work,               in               which               case               scrunch               your               eyes               as               if               you're               reviewing               a               disturbing               spreadsheet).

To               stay               au               courant               on               your               Sarah               Palin               jokes,               bookmark               this               page               and               return               for               updates.
               (Updated               April               25,               2011):               Who'd               have               guessed               Sarah               Palin               would               go               from               running               for               veep               to               driving               a               jeep               (on               her               recent               Animal               Planet               surreality               TV               show,               "Sarah               Palin's               Alaska?").

Throughout               2010,               Sarah               Palin               did               
               what               she               does               best,               make               us               laugh               -               sometimes               even               intentionally.
               "Sarah               Palin               has               a               61percent               unfavorable               rate               in               Alaska.

That               number               jumps               to               100               percent               if               you               only               ask               the               animals."               --               Conan               O'Brien
               "We               had               a               national               tragedy               this               week,               and               the               President               of               the               United               States               and               Sarah               Palin               both               made               speeches               on               the               same               day.

Obama               came               out               against               lunatics               with               guns,               she               gave               the               rebuttal."               -               Bill               Maher
               "Sarah               Palin               .

.

.

is               angry               because               Michele               Obama               is               encouraging               kids               to               eat               healthy.

Sarah               Palin               believes               the               government               shouldn't               tell               us               what               to               do.

Sarah               Palin               believes               she               should               tell               us               what               to               do."               -               David               Letterman
               "A               new               poll               shows               President               Obama               ahead               of               Sarah               Palin               54               percent               to               39               percent               in               a               potential               match               up.

You               know               what               that               means?

John               McCain               could               get               Barack               Obama               elected               twice."               -               Jay               Leno
               "On               Glenn               Beck's               radio               show               yesterday,               Sarah               Palin               accidentally               said,               'We               have               to               stand               with               our               North               Korean               allies.'               Then               Palin               was               like,               'Wait.

North               Korea's               the               one               in               the               south,               right?'"               -               Jimmy               Fallon
               "The               New               Oxford               Dictionary               has               declared               Sarah               Palin's               word               'refudiate'               to               be               the               2010               Word               of               the               Year.

Palin               was               honored               and               said               she               would               do               her               best               to               'dismangle'               the               English               language."               -               Conan               O'Brien
               "On               Fox               News,               Sarah               Palin               said,               'I               want               to               clean               up               the               state               -               that               is               so               sorry               today               -               of               journalism,               and               I               have               a               communications               degree.'               After               that               sentence,               they               might               take               it               back."               -               Jay               Leno
               "A               new               study               says               that               radiation               from               Wi-Fi               is               hurting               trees.

Environmentalists               are               calling               it               the               worst               assault               on               trees               since               George               W.

Bush               and               Sarah               Palin               became               authors."               -               Jimmy               Fallon
               "Last               night               was               possibly               the               last               show               ever               of               'Sarah               Palin's               Alaska,'               for               several               reasons.

She               might               run               for               President               and               would               have               to               abide               by               the               equal               time               rules.

Also,               she               just               likes               to               quit               things."               -               Jimmy               Kimmel
               "Palin's               book               just               came               out.

It               has               just               over               300               pages               and               just               under               900               made-up               words."               -               Jimmy               Fallon
               "Three               finalists               on               'Dancing               with               the               Stars,'               two               of               whom               can               dance               and               Bristol               Palin               who               cannot,               but               her               mother               has               an               army               of               Eskimo               robots               calling               in               votes               day               and               night.

The               Palins               dream               of               a               future               in               which               no               one               will               ever               be               disqualified               from               a               job               simply               because               they               are               unable               to               perform               that               job."               -               Jimmy               Kimmel
               "On               Fox               News,               they               address               her               as               Governor               Palin.

Which               is               like               calling               me               'Dairy               Queen               employee.'               I               was               once,               but               I               quit."               -               Tina               Fey               on               Letterman
               "Sarah               Palin               has               admitted               she               tried               marijuana               several               years               ago,               but               she               did               not               like               it.

She               said               it               distorted               her               perceptions,               impaired               her               thinking               and               she's               hoping               that               the               effects               will               eventually               wear               off."               -               Jay               Leno
               "Unfortunately,               Palin               was               unable               to               respond               to               the               criticism               because               she               was               wearing               gloves."               -               Jimmy               Kimmel
               "It's               a               great               day               for               Sarah               Palin.

She               was               hired               as               a               commentator               for               Fox               News.

She               signed               a               multi-year               contract,               which               means               she'll               probably               quit               after               a               year."               --Craig               Ferguson
               "Sarah               Palin's               book               is               number               one               on               Amazon.com               right               now.

Stephen               King               actually               has               the               number               two               book.

Very               scary               new               book               called               'Sarah               Palin               Becomes               President.'"               -               Jimmy               Kimmel
               "In               Sarah               Palin's               new               book,               she               says               when               she               first               laid               eyes               on               her               future               husband,               she               said               out               loud,               'Thank               you,               God,'               which               is               the               same               thing               the               Democrats               said               when               they               first               laid               eyes               on               Sarah               Palin."               -               Conan               O'Brien
               "Sarah               Palin's               new               autobiography               doesn't               come               out               until               November,               but               it               is               already               number               one               on               Amazon.

And               if               you               go               to               the               website,               it               says,               'People               who               bought               this               book               also               bought               no               other               books               in               their               entire               life.'"               -               Jimmy               Fallon
               "The               book               costs               $24.99,               but               it               has               a               $5,000               jacket."               -Jimmy               Fallon
               (Updated               February               13,               2010):               If               Sarah               Palin               is               not               being               paid               off               by               late               night               comedians               to               provide               grist               for               their               joke               mills,               she's               being               robbed.

Her               latest               flub               involved               writing               notes               on               her               hand               for               a               speech               she               gave               at               a               recent               Tea               Party               convention,               an               incident               that               quickly               became               known               as               Palmgate               (or               Palm               Gate).

Comedians               had               their               predictable               field               day               with               this               behavior               more               commonly               associated               with               elementary               school               students               than               speakers               paid               $100,000.

Here               were               the               best               jibes:
               "Maybe               Sarah               Palin               would               be               smarter               if               she               had               bigger               hands."               -               Jimmy               Kimmel
               Stephen               Colbert               confided               in               viewers               he               used               hand               notes,               too.

He               showed               the               palm               of               his               hand               which               had               the               word               "thumb"               on               it,               with               an               arrow               pointing               to               his               thumb.
               "As               long               as               she's               writing               reminders               on               her               hand,               may               I               suggest               one               more.

Buy               condoms!"               -               Bill               Maher
               "Sarah               Palin's               also               getting               criticized               because               last               week               she               demanded               that               Obama's               chief               of               staff,               Rahm               Emanuel,               step               down               because               he               used               the               word               retarded.

But               then,               Rush               Limbaugh               did               the               same               thing               on               his               radio               show               and               that,               she               said,               was               okay.

Unfortunately,               she's               been               unable               to               respond               to               the               criticism               because               she's               wearing               mittens."               -               Jimmy               Kimmel
               Going               Rogue               
               
               With               the               release               of               Sarah               Palin's               new               book,               Going               Rogue,               here               are               some               new               jokes               about               Sarah               Palin's               book               and               promotion               tour,               as               well               as               jokes               from               the               summer               of               2009               (remember               Palin's               resignation               as               governor               of               Alaska               and               David               Letterman's               controversial               joke               about               Bristol               (or               was               it               Willow?).

Also               included               are               some               jokes               with               legs               from               the               McCain               /               Palin               presidential               campaign               that               were               not               featured               in               the               original               compendia               of               'Best               Sarah               Palin               Jokes.'               As               Thanksgiving               approaches,               be               thankful               you               still               have               Sarah               Palin               to               make               you               laugh               
               -               provided               you're               not               a               turkey!
               (Updated               November               14,               2009)
               "Sarah               Palin's               400-page               memoir               is               going               to               be               released               on               November               17th,               and               it's               called               'Going               Rogue:               An               American               Life.'               And               critics               say               that               it               starts               out               okay,               it               gets               really               exciting               and               then               confusing,               and               then               the               last               100               pages               are               blank."               -               Jimmy               Fallon
               "Palin's               book               is               big,               400               pages.

She               wrote               the               book               herself               and               agonized               over               every               word               -               and               so               will               you."               -               David               Letterman
               "This               week               Sarah               Palin's               memoir               became               a               bestseller.

It's               not               even               out               yet,               and               it's               been               translated               into               English."               -               Bill               Maher
               "Former               governor               of               Alaska,               Sarah               Palin,               is               promoting               her               new               book               and               she's               going               to               appear               on               the               Oprah               Winfrey               Show.

Sarah               and               Oprah.

On               the               one               hand,               a               very               powerful               woman               qualified               to               be               President               of               the               United               States,               and               on               the               other               hand,               you               have               Sarah."               -               David               Letterman
               "Sarah               Palin's               new               autobiography               doesn't               come               out               until               November,               but               it               is               already               No.

1               on               Amazon.

And               if               you               go               to               the               website,               it               says,               'People               who               bought               this               book               also               bought               no               other               books               in               their               entire               life.'"               -               Jimmy               Fallon
               "The               book               costs               $24.99,               but               it               has               a               $5,000               jacket."               -               Jimmy               Fallon
               "People               in               Alaska               are               looking               forward               to               Sarah               Palin's               memoir.

They're               already               calling               it               'The               Book               to               Nowhere.'"               -               David               Letterman
               "I               was               talking               to               a               lady               here               in               the               audience,               she               was               from               Alaska               and               we               were               wondering               about               this.

How               does               a               thing               like               this               work?

She               steps               down               and               she's               no               longer               the               governor               of               Alaska.

And               we               figured               it               out:               Miss               Congeniality               steps               up               and               is               now               the               governor               of               Alaska."               -               David               Letterman
               "President               Obama               right               now               is               in               Russia.

Obama               went               there               because               from               Russia               you               can               actually               see               Sarah               Palin               cleaning               out               her               office               in               Alaska."               -               Conan               O'Brien
               "A               lot               of               public               figures               do               this.

When               you               have               trouble,               you               blame               the               media.

And               today               as               a               matter               of               fact               she               was               up               in               a               helicopter               shooting               Wolf               Blitzer."               -               David               Letterman
               "But               if               you               think               about               it,               Sarah               Palin               and               Oprah               Winfrey               have               a               lot               in               common.

They               both               helped               get               Obama               elected."               -               David               Letterman
               "Today               is               Groundhog               Day,               and               I               don't               know               why               this               stuff               always               goes               haywire               in               Alaska.

Here               is               what               happened.

A               little               bit               of               trouble.

Groundhog               comes               out               of               its               hole.

Sarah               Palin               shoots               it."               -               David               Letterman
               "Did               you               know               this?

We               have               a               brand-new               Miss               America,               Katie               Stam,               from               Indiana.

They               choose               Miss               America               based               on               personality,               how               the               young               woman               looks               in               a               swimsuit,               and               how               she               looks               in               evening               gowns.

That               is               the               competition.

It's               the               same               way               that               John               McCain               chooses               a               running               mate."               -               David               Letterman
               "This               is               weird,               in               her               resignation               speech,               Sarah               Palin               said               she               polled               her               children               on               whether               she               should               resign               and               the               count               was               unanimous.

Yeah,               even               her               children               thought               she               was               in               over               her               head."               -               Conan               O'Brien
               "But               I               want               to               tell               you,               it's               so               cold.

It's               so               cold               that               Sarah               Palin               shot               herself               a               brand-new               coat."               -               David               Letterman
               "Sarah               Palin               also               honored               today.

She               was               named               'person               of               the               year'               by               LensCrafters.

And               in               about               an               hour,               they'll               name               somebody               else."               -               David               Letterman
               "Over               the               weekend               Sarah               Palin               shocked               the               country               by               resigning               as               governor               of               Alaska.

Yeah,               Republicans               aren't               sure               who               is               going               to               fill               her               role               in               the               party,               but               they               are               in               talks               with               several               of               the               Real               Housewives               of               New               Jersey."               -               Conan               O'Brien
               "We're               talking               about               Sarah               Palin,               who               has               a               brand               new               Christmas               album.

It's               entitled               'I               Can               See               Bethlehem               From               My               House.'"               -               David               Letterman
               "Golden               Globe               nominations               out               today,               and               Sarah               Palin               was               nominated               for               one.

Her               category               is               Outstanding               Comedy               Performance               in               a               Presidential               Campaign."               -               David               Letterman
               "A               lot               of               people               have               forgotten               about               President               Bush,               but               this               transitional               period               is               a               busy               time               for               President               Bush               as               well.

He's               busy               granting               pardons.

Today,               he               pardoned               Sarah               Palin               for               her               interview               with               Katie               Couric."               -               David               Letterman
               "And               they               said,               well,               how               about               writing               a               book?

She               said,               'You               betcha.

As               long               as               I               don't               have               to               read               it.'"               -               David               Letterman
               "But               Sarah               Palin               is               trying               to               be               bipartisan.

She               said               she               actually               wants               to               help               Barack               Obama.

And               I               said,               'Well,               hasn't               she               helped               him               enough               already?"               -               David               Letterman
               "Anybody               see               Sarah               Palin               on               the               'Today'               show               a               couple               of               days               ago,               cooking?

And               people               say,               'Well,               can               she               cook?'               Of               course               she               can               cook.

After               all,               she               cooked               McCain's               goose."               -               David               Letterman
               "It's               a               little               cold               and               windy               outside,               isn't               it               today?

It's               so               cold               today               that               Sarah               Palin               was               putting               ChapStick               on               a               pit               bull."               -               David               Letterman
               "But               Sarah               Palin               doesn't               shop               at               low-end               stores.

As               a               matter               of               fact,               she               thinks               Old               Navy               is               John               McCain's               nickname."               -               David               Letterman
               "They're               saying               that               when               Sarah               Palin               is               speaking,               she               blinks               her               eyes.

People               believe               that               those               are               coded               messages,               and               I'm               a               conspiracy               nut.

So               I               got               a               hold               of               a               tape               of               a               recent               campaign               appearance,               and               I               slowed               it               down.

And               if               you               translate               the               blinks               to               Morse               code,               sure               enough,               right               there               it               says,               'Vote               for               Grandpa.'"               -               David               Letterman
               "Have               you               been               watching               Sarah               Palin's               interviews               with               Katie               Couric?

Last               night,               Palin               told               Katie               Couric               right               here               on               the               'CBS               Evening               News'               that               she               can't               name               a               Supreme               Court               ruling               that               she               disagrees               with.

The               best               she               could               come               up               with               was               the               time               Judge               Judy               ruled               against               the               landlord.

But               Sarah               Palin               did               say               she               objected               to               several               Paula               Abdul               rulings               on               'American               Idol.'"               -               David               Letterman
               "According               to               a               new               poll,               42%               of               Americans               say               they               would               vote               for               Sarah               Palin               for               president               in               2012.

They               also               said               they'd               support               her               decision               to               step               down               in               2013."               -               Conan               O'Brien
               "Oh,               but               Sarah               Palin,               you               know,               was               at               the               U.N.

yesterday,               and               she               was               a               big               hit.

She's               over               there               meeting               all               of               the               world               leaders.

She's               still               learning               who               the               world               leaders               are.

Right               now,               she               thinks               that               Warren               Buffett               is               the               head               of               Margaritaville."               -               David               Letterman
               "But               Sarah               Palin               is               having               a               great               time               in               New               York               City.

Today,               as               a               matter               of               fact,               she               shot               and               mounted               that               thing               on               Donald               Trump's               head."               -               David               Letterman
               "I               know               all               about               Iran.

I               ran               for               Mayor               and               then               I               ran               for               Governor!"               -               David               Letterman
               "I               can't               comment               on               the               Kyoto               Accord               as               I've               only               ever               seen               the               Honda."               -               David               Letterman
               "I               wouldn't               want               to               go               over               to               Kabul.

I'm               perfectly               happy               with               my               DirectTV."               -               David               Letterman
               Two               most               controversial               jokes               about               Sarah               Palin               in               2009
               David               Letterman's               Controversial               Sarah               Palin               joke
               "You               know               who               was               in               town               this               weekend,               went               to               a               Yankee               game?

Sarah               Palin               ...

One               awkward               moment,               though,               during               the               game.

Maybe               you               heard               about               it,               maybe               you               saw               it               on               one               of               the               highlight               reels,               one               awkward               moment               for               Sarah               Palin               at               the               Yankee               game.

During               the               seventh               inning,               her               daughter               was               knocked               up               by               Alex               Rodriguez."               -               David               Letterman
               John               Kerry's               Controversial               Sarah               Palin               joke
               During               the               time               South               Carolina               Gov.

Mark               Sanford               was               missing               and               presumed               to               be               hiking               on               the               Appalachian               Trail,               Kerry               told               the               Massachusetts               Democrat               told               a               group               of               business               and               civic               leaders:               "Too               bad               if               a               governor               had               to               go               missing               it               couldn't               have               been               the               governor               of               Alaska.

You               know,               Sarah               Palin."               -               John               Kerry
               (Updated               March               16,               2009):
               After               the               election,               Alaska               Gov.

Sarah               Palin               decided               to               do               her               best               to               heal               the               wounds               with               her               rivals               in               the               bitter               campaign.

She               invited               the               ticket               that               defeated               John               McCain               and               her,               Barack               Obama               and               Joe               Biden,               to               a               moose-hunting               trip.She               hired               three               prominent               experts               in               their               fields               to               assist.


               -Dick               Cheney               would               lead               them               on               the               hunt.


               -Ted               Kennedy               would               drive               them               back               to               their               cabins               each               evening.


               -And               Bill               Clinton               would               entertain               their               wives               and               daughters.
               "Well,               according               to               a               new               post-election               survey,               people               want               Sarah               Palin               to               run               for               president               in               2012.

It               says               she's               been               getting               thousands               of               calls               from               people               pleading               with               her               to               run,               all               Democrats."               -               Jay               Leno
               (Updated               October               9,               2008               to               include               jokes               about               the               vice               presidential               debate,               Katie               Couric               interview               fiasco               and               Tina               Fey               impersonation               on               SNL)
               "She               said               at               her               church,               Governor               Palin,               said               she               asked               everyone               to               pray               for               a               natural               gas               pipeline,               which               she               said               was               God's               will.

And               today,               God               said,               'Hey               lady,               I               don't               deal               with               oil               companies.

That's               more               Satan's               area.'"               -               Jay               Leno
               "In               Boca               Raton,               Florida,               yesterday,               a               woman               who               looked               like               Sarah               Palin               caused               a               near               riot               when               she               walked               into               a               diner               for               breakfast.

And               after               a               minute               or               two,               people               finally               realized               it               wasn't               her               when               she               started               answering               questions."               -               Jay               Leno
               "Are               you               excited               about               Sarah               Palin?

Well,               yesterday               she               referred               to               Afghanistan               as               our               neighboring               country.

Apparently,               she               can               see               bin               Laden's               cave               from               her               house."               -               David               Letterman
               "During               the               debate               the               other               night,               the               moderator               asked               Sarah               Palin               to               describe               her               Achilles               heel,               but               instead               of               talking               about               her               biggest               weakness,               she               talked               about               her               greatest               strength,               which               apparently               is               not               answering               questions."               -               Jay               Leno
               "Of               course,               the               most               controversial               thing               Sarah               Palin               said               last               night               was               she               felt               the               vice               president               should               have               more               power.

More               power?

Dick               Cheney               is               shooting               people               in               the               face               and               doesn't               even               get               arrested.

You               cannot               get               any               more               powerful               than               that."               -               Jay               Leno
               "During               the               debate,               Palin               winked,               wrinkled               her               nose,               and               gave               a               shout-out               to               a               third-grade               class.

Well,               you               know,               that               says               commander-in-chief               to               me               right               there.

You               betcha!"               -               David               Letterman
               "She               kept               reaching               out               to               Joe               Sixpack.

That's               because               her               answers               make               more               sense               after               six               beers."               -               David               Letterman
               "Political               experts               are               saying               that               to               succeed               in               the               vice               presidential               debate,               Sarah               Palin               needs               to               show               that               she               has               the               same               concerns               as               everyday               Americans.

For               instance,               Palin               planned               to               start               the               debate               by               saying               she's               really               troubled               by               John               McCain's               choice               for               vice               president."               -               Conan               O'Brien
               "Sarah               Palin               right               now               is               training               for               tomorrow               night's               vice               presidential               debate               in               Arizona.

And               she               says               it               has               really               helped               her               on               foreign               policy,               because               from               Arizona               she               can               see               Mexico."               -               David               Letterman
               "Even               though               Governor               Palin               is               not               expected               to               do               particularly               well               in               tomorrow               night's               debate,               she               is               favored               heavily               in               Friday               night's               swimsuit               competition."               -               Jimmy               Kimmel
               "Sarah               Palin,               she's               getting               ready               for               tomorrow's               debate.

I               understand               she               now               knows               all               three               branches               of               -               Jay               Leno
               "Have               you               been               watching               the               Sarah               Palin               interview               with               Katie               Couric               on               the               'CBS               Evening               News'?

Pretty               interesting.

Sarah               Palin               could               not               remember               the               name               of               a               newspaper               or               a               magazine               that               she               reads.

And               I               was               thinking,               wow,               we               could               possibly               have               a               leader               of               the               country               who               doesn't               read.

And               then               I               thought,               well,               hell               it's               worked               pretty               good               for               George               Bush."               -               David               Letterman
               "But               don't               kid               yourself.

This               is               for               all               the               marbles,               this               debate               tomorrow               night.

And               Sarah               Palin               is               nothing               if               not               diligent.

She's               working               hard               on               preparing               for               the               debate               with               Joe               Biden.

Earlier               today               in               Arizona               we               just               heard               that               she               shot               a               donkey."               -               David               Letterman
               "Political               activists               are               now               saying,               if               Sarah               Palin               does               not               do               well               tomorrow               in               the               debate,               she               will               voluntarily               step               down               from               the               ticket               by               Friday.

So               far,               there               have               been               over               2               million               emails               and               phone               calls,               urging               her               to               stay.

All               from               Tina               Fey."               -               Jay               Leno
               "I               don't               know               if               Palin               is               ready.

You               know               you're               in               trouble,               debating               like               this,               you               know               you're               in               trouble               when               your               debate               goal               is               to               do               as               well               as               Dan               Quayle               did."               -               David               Letterman
               "The               much-anticipated               vice               presidential               debate               takes               place               tomorrow               night               in               St.

Louis.

Senator               Joe               Biden               of               Delaware               faces               off               with               Alaska               Governor               Sarah               Palin.

Teams               of               technicians               have               been               working               around               the               clock,               trying               to               figure               out               how               to               run               an               Internet               cable               directly               into               the               back               of               her               skull               to               feed               her               the               information."               -               Jimmy               Kimmel
               "Republicans               are               blaming               Nancy               Pelosi               for               the               bailout               not               going               through.

Democrats               are               blaming               it               on               an               incomplete               proposal               by               the               Republicans.

John               McCain               is               blaming               Barack               Obama.

Barack               Obama               is               blaming               John               McCain.

And               Sarah               Palin               is               praying               nobody               asks               her               what's               going               on."               -               Jay               Leno
               "Critics               are               still               analyzing               Sarah               Palin's               interview               with               Katie               Couric               last               week,               and               they're               saying               she               was               halting,               repetitive               and               stumped               on               basic               questions.

Yeah,               in               other               words,               Palin               appeared               very               presidential."               -               Conan               O'Brien
               "Hugh               Hefner               is               entering               the               fray.

Hugh               Hefner               has               asked               Sarah               Palin               to               pose               nude               for               Playboy               magazine.

Yeah,               and               Palin               said               she'd               agree               to               pose               for               Playboy               as               long               as               there's               no               interview."               -               Conan               O'Brien
               "Hugh               Hefner               has               asked               Sarah               Palin               to               pose               naked               for               Playboy.

Because               right               know,               you               know,               she's               busy               posing               as               a               vice-presidential               candidate.

Actually,               think               about               that,               if               she               did               do               it,               she               could               be               the               first               Playmate               on               a               bear-skin               rug               she               shot               herself."               -               Jay               Leno
               "A               farmer               in               Ohio               has               carved               a               corn               maze               in               his               field               in               the               likeness               of               Sarah               Palin.

The               way               it               works?

You               enter               and               suddenly               realize               you're               way               over               your               head."               -               Amy               Poehler
               "Meanwhile               the               big               question               that               I               don't               know               if               anyone               has               asked               yet               --               while               Sarah               Palin's               yammering               it               up               with               Joe               Biden               in               St.

Louis,               who's               keeping               an               eye               on               the               Russians?

What               happens               if               Putin               decides               to               rear               his               head?"               -               Jimmy               Kimmel
               Speaking               of               Sarah               Palin,               she               said               she's               a               life-long               member               of               the               National               Rifle               Association.

Which               may               explain               why               she's               in               favor               of               shotgun               weddings."               -               Jay               Leno
               "All               the               Republicans               are               heaping               praise               on               Governor               Palin.

Fred               Thompson               said,               as               an               actor,               he               could               see               them               making               a               movie               about               Sarah               Palin               and               her               family.

Didn't               they               already               make               that               movie?

I               think               it               was               called               'Knocked               Up.'"               -               Jay               Leno
               "They               asked               her               if               she               would               be               able               to               explain               how               she               once               lobbied               Washington               for               earmarks,               and               she               said,               'W'll               cross               that               bridge               to               nowhere               when               we               come               to               it'"               -               Jay               Leno
               "Palin               and               McCain               are               a               good               pair.

She's               pro-life               and               he's               clinging               to               life."               -               Jay               Leno
               "Actually,               it               was               kind               of               a               smart               choice.

McCain               went               with               a               woman               because               he               didn't               want               to               have               to               be               in               a               position               to               have               to               get               CPR               from               Mitt               Romney."               -Jay               Leno
               "Today               President               Bush               called               Gov.

Palin               and               congratulated               her.

Bush               told               Palin               the               job               of               vice               president               is               very               important               because               as               vice               president,               you               get               to               tell               the               president               what               to               do."               -               Jay               Leno
               "Not               only               is               she               young,               they're               saying               she's               the               prettiest               candidate               for               Vice               President               since               John               Edwards."               -               Jimmy               Kimmel
               "I               see               they're               selling               Sarah               Palin               action               figures.

Sad               incident               at               Toys               R               Us               today               --               a               Sarah               Palin               doll               shot               My               Little               Pony."               -               Jimmy               Kimmel
               "For               some               reason,               the               Secret               Service               revealed               that               Sarah               Palin's               Secret               Service               code               name               is               'Denali.'               Turns               out               'Denali'               is               an               old               Eskimo               name               that               means               Dan               Quayle."-               Jay               Leno
               "Turns               out               Gov.

Palin               is               a               lifelong               member               of               the               NRA               and               a               longtime               hunter.

Another               vice               president               who's               a               hunter,               what               could               go               wrong               there?"               -               Jay               Leno
               "The               Palin               family               crisis               has               been               solved               now.

The               baby               is               being               adopted               by               Angelina               Jolie."               -               David               Letterman
               "Dick               Cheney               told               reporters               this               week               there's               no               reason               why               Sarah               Palin               cannot               be               a               successful               vice               president               in               the               McCain               administration.

In               fact,               not               only               can               she               shoot               a               lawyer               in               the               face,               she               can               field               dress               him."               -               Jay               Leno
               "Democrats               are               sending               an               army               of               lawyers               and               investigators               up               to               Alaska               to               look               into               Palin's               background.

And               of               course,               John               McCain               is               furious.

He               said,               'Hey,               if               I               didn't               look               into               her               background,               there's               no               reason               you               should               be               looking               into               her               background.'"               -               Jay               Leno
               See               also:               
               Best               John               McCain               Jokes               
               Best               Dumb               Blonde               Jokes               
               Best               Animal               Jokes
               Articles               about               Sarah               Palin:
Sarah               Palin               TV               Show               Ideas               
               Sarah               Palin:               Josephine               Sixpack               or               Sarah               Champagne?


               What's               the               Difference               Between               Sarah               Palin               and               a               Talking               Barbie?


               Is               Sarah               Palin               a               CrackBerry               Mom:               Children               of               Sarah               Palin               May               Be               "BlackBerry               Orphans"               
               Who               Built               Sarah               Palin's               House?
               Sources:               
               http://nymag.com/daily/intel/               
               http://www.dailykos.com/story/2008/9/2/163529/2680/112/583640               
               http://www.alphapatriot.com/home/archives/2008/09/05/best_palin_joke_to_date.php               
               http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080901162752AASwomF               
               http://blogs.thetimes.co.za/somethingtodo/2008/09/15/the-jokes-on-sarah-palin/               
               http://www.scrippsnews.com/node/35973               
               http://blogs.chicagotribune.com/news_columnists_ezorn/2008/09/tv-jokesters-wa.html               
               http://dekerivers.wordpress.com/2008/09/22/jay-leno-jokes-about-sarah-palin/               
               http://politicalhumor.about.com/od/sarahpalin/a/palin-jokes.htm               
               http://www.mustsharejokes.com/page/Sarah+Palin+Jokes+by+David+Letterman               
               http://politicalhumor.about.com/od/sarahpalin/a/palin-jokes.htm               
               http://www.mahalo.com/answers/politics/sarah-palin-jokes               
               http://www.politicsdaily.com/2009/06/25/john-kerry-bombs-with-sarah-palin-joke/






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